I am ultra observant. I enjoy life, and find humor in everything I see. It helps when times are tough. No one can make me laugh like me. My favorite quote from my teenage years: “I’m such a pissa!” I am a magnet for the bizarre. Crazy follows me everywhere.
We are selling off bits and pieces of our closed business in garage sales and on Craigslist.org. Both have brought some funny stories. However, Craigslist.org takes the cake. I’m waiting in the car with two of my sons, oldest and number three, for the second oldest to arrive at his school from rehearsal for All County via school bus. The two boys with me are over excited because the awaited snowfall is beginning and the oldest is checking his Blackberry for Facebook.com updates on school closings. I am trying to keep their joviality to a minimum because we are heading to a wake whenever this bus decides to drop off my son. As we are sitting in the parking lot of the high school, Like a G-6 starts jamming on my phone. (Yes, I am immature). I answer it to a nice young man stating, “Hi, I am calling regarding the air hockey table you have for sale on Craigslist.” I hesitated briefly because the number came up as private and the only private numbers I know are my husband and my home. “Yes”, I reply, “How are you? How may I help you?” “I’m fine, thanks”, whacko began “Can you tell me a little about the table, is it in good shape? Does it have any deep scratches?” I answered, “Yes, it is in good shape. It was barely used at my kids’ party place. It was only taken out for parties that requested it, which wasn’t too often.” “Oh, OK, great! Can I make you an offer?” he asked. Oh, shit! Here it comes, rings in my head. “What did you have in mind?” came out instead. He says, “I would like to offer you a snapper turtle.” Surprised, I said, “Umm, WHAT?” “A snapper turtle” he said again. “A snapper turtle” I puzzled to two boys dying of laughter in the car. I start to cut short his nonsense with “Listen, the ad says legitimate offers only…” “It is legitimate” he interrupted, “I will even throw in three garden snakes”. Click, the bus arrived.