Everyone has at least one friend from childhood or their teen years that left a lasting impression and helped to form whom they grow to be. It's the supportive friend with the shoulder you cried on. The one who built your self-confidence, not destroyed it. The one you talked to on the phone for hours until you fell asleep with the phone in your ear. The one who, unfortunately, remembered EVERYTHING. The one whose defense you ran to and the one who always ran to your side. The one that God took way too early. The one who was your maid of honor then became your first-born's godmother. The ones with unending laughs, good times and times that should never be repeated. The ones who were inseparable. Some girls find it very early on while others had to wade through the bullies and jealousy to find their perfect fit. I was lucky enough to find five in my early teens.
Some of us are fortunate enough to keep those friendships tight throughout our adult lives and sometimes life just gets in the way. Unfortunately hurtful words may be spoken, and then pride and anger take over those feelings of love and friendship. Sometimes death intervenes and pulls the brakes on everything. The six abruptly dwindled to five after a tragic loss of the glue to us all. The five split into an uneven half after hurtful words were uttered in anger. I never realized how poignant the 80's anthem from The Breakfast Club was to my life until we made plans to finally see one another again.
Eighteen years later as four of the five us sat in the diner for lunch, my eyes welled with tears at the apology I wanted to blurt out. I refrained because my words are clearer on paper or cyberspace than the slur from my emotional lips. I refrained because I didn't want to be a bumbling crybaby, but wanted to enjoy every new second with my lost friends. I didn't want to sour a happy reunion. I tried to hold my tears and turned them into laughter. I am so sorry for the painful things I said eighteen years ago. I said them in anger and frustration when I should have just communicated my thoughts. Then I lashed out. Now I discuss. It has taken many trials and tribulations to grow into me.
There was no denying a few awkward moments to begin with, but very fast it felt as comfortable as old times. It was bittersweet to hear of all the things I had missed and that they had shared. But, at the same time I was so eager to hear about their families and so happy they had each other. I had Deb all those years, who was noticeably missing because she had a family engagement. I was so tempted to wait for her to be able to join us as my crutch, but decided I am a big girl and I can do this, I don't need a crutch. When I talked to my Deb the next day, the half that stayed with me, she stated that she would have needed me as her crutch. I just love her so much and I will always be there for her.
Hours passed and it was time to head home. I could've talked all day. It was amazing to have that time to reminisce about the crazy kids we were and how everyone's family has grown and developed. There is still so many years to catch up on and I hope we find the time to do it again; next time with Debbie. There was a point in our lives where we were all tied to each other's hips. Over the years many, many people asked about us, because where there was one, another would walk in. Now I am able to answer positively, without hesitation that they are still as beautiful as ever and doing very well.